Crank Calls
by LemonyWickedAwesome
Summary: What happens when Lemony and her friends crank call the bleach cast? Read and find out!...CRACKFIC BIG TIME! Several special guests appearances. Classic Lemony Story. Rated M to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

**Lemony:** Ok! This is new crack-sereis I promised a few of my loyal readers! I hope you guys like it!

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><p>DeathsLittleBirdie vs. Toshiro<p>

The Egg Roll

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><p><strong>Lemony:<strong> I'm boooorrreeeddd Birdie Love Buttons.

**Birdie:** What should we do? Should we go pick up male strippers? I have the number on speed dial.

**Lemony:** Save that for my birthday, Birdie my love.

**Birdie:** Wanna call Toshiro and bother him?

**Lemony:** Si! Donde esta el tocino?

**Birdie:** You just asked me 'wheres the bacon' el stupido!

**Lemony:** Mmmmm...bacon...yummy! Shut up! You know I don't speak Spanish! No hablar Espanol!

**Birdie:**...ok, I'm callin' Lil Shiro *takes out cell phone* *dials number*

_RIIIIINNNNNGGGG!_

**Toshiro:** Hello?

**Birdie:** *faking Chinese accent* You order Chinese?

**Toshiro:** No, I didn't order anything.

**Lemony:** *faking Chinese accent* You likey the egg rolls? You order Chinese!

**Toshiro:** No! I didn't order anything!

**Birdie:** Toshiro likey the egg rolls! He puts his egg roll in Rangiku's egg fu yong!

**Toshiro:** That didn't sound right at all.

**Birdie:** You put your egg roll in Lemony's shushi?

**Toshiro:** Ok, now you just being gross, I didn't put my egg roll in anything!

**Lemony:** Byakuya taste your tiny egg roll?

**Toshiro:** NO! Who is this anyway?

**Birdie:** THE EGG ROLL POLICE!

**Lemony:** Your egg roll is under arrest!

**Toshiro:** You guys are idiots.

**Birdie:** You order Chinese?

**Toshiro:** NO! FOR THE LAST TIME!

**Lemony: **Can I taste your egg roll!

**Toshiro: **I DON'T HAVE AN EGG ROLL

**Birdie:** Of course you do, its in your pants silly.

**Toshiro:** You guys are disgusting! Talking about my egg roll…

**Birdie:** SO YOU ADMIT ITS AN EGG ROLL!

**Lemony:** Don't forget his fried rice cakes!

**Toshiro:** …

_CLICK!_

**Lemony&Birdie:** *rotflmfao*

WINNER: DeathsLitttleBirdie!

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><p><strong>Lemony:<strong> HAHA, hope you guys liked this first chapter! I had fun writing this, anywho…REVIEW!


	2. Chapter 2

**Wicked:** Lemony *pinches bride of nose* Why do you insist on these dim-witted crackfics?

**Lemony:** Because I'm bored with my life! Excuse me for trying to make people laugh.

**Wicked:** You're excused.

**Lemony:** …smart-ass.

**Awesome:** YAY! THE RED RING OF DEATH IS GONE! I FIXED MY XBOX! *does happy dance*

**Lemony:** Go Awesome! Its your birthday! Do da stanky leg!

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><p>Ladymichelis vs. Grimmjow<p>

Pie

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><p><strong>Lemony:<strong>Still very bored. A bored Lemony is an unhappy Lemony.

**Lady:**PIE!

**Lemony:**Yay! Pie! Let's call Grimmjow and tell him all about pie!

**Lady:**Ok, I wanna call him. *takes out cell phone* *dials number*

RRRRRIIIIINNNNGGGG

**Grimmjow:**Hello?

**Lady:**Hi honey bunches!

**Grimmjow:**Who is this?

**Lemony:**It's the Evil Pie Of Doom!

**Lady:**MWAHAHAHAHHAHA!

**Grimmjow:**Ok, what the fuck ever then.

**Lemony:**Give us your pie!

**Grimmjow:**I don't have any fucking pie.

**Lady:**My precious pie...

**Grimmjow:**Who the hell is this?

**Lemony&Lady:**PIE!

**Grimmjow:**Uggh...

**Lady:**Do you have a weiner?

**Grimmjow:**What the hell are you talking about?

**Lady:**ASK ME ABOUT MY WEIINNNNEEERRRR!

**Grimmjow:**...I'm kinda scared to...what about it?

**Lemony:**Its bigger than yours!

**Grimmjow:**Hold the hell on-

**Lady:**It has ketchup, and mustard, and a bun.

**Lemony:**What did you think we meant, Grimmjow?

**Grimmjow:**Um...nothing, just never mind.

**Lemony:**Oooooohhhhh! Grimmy's talkin' dirty to us!

**Grimmjow:**I am not! Who is this? Why the fuck am I still talking to you?

**Lemony&Lady:**Because you want our weiner.

**Grimmjow:**Really? You don't have anything better to do?

**Lady:**GIVE AWAY FREE WEINERS!

**Lemony:**Grimmjow likes weiners...

**Grimmjow:***growl*

**Lady:**Grimmjow The Weiner Boy!

**Grimmjow:**I know what you're trying to do! Cut it out before I kill you!

**Lemony:**Hmmm, may we interest you in a subscription to Weiner Monthly?

**Grimmjow:**Uuuuuggghhh!

**Lady:**PIE!

CLICK!

**Lemony&Lady:**GIVE US YOUR PIE!

Winner: Ladymichelis!

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><p><strong>Wicked:<strong> Ah, I almost forgot, shut up you damn badger. Proclaim my love a badger? What crack have you been smoking? I don't like badgers, rodents, or other ground dwelling furry little creatures.

**Lemony:** Crack? Crackfic? Smoking crack... Am I the only one who saw that connection! XD

**Awesome:** *continues to do happy dance*

**Lemony: **SHAKE IT AWESOME! SHAKE IT!

**Wicked:** Idiots…REVIEW!


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